I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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