Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize