just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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