Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize