awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
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He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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