I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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