We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize