hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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