I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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