honey bunches of taint.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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