is your mom at the bar?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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