And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Buhtt sex?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
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She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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