Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize