i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize