see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize