Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
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