I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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