i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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