just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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