instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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