It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
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i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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