Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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