Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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