I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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