I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize