This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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