the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize