you mean i was at the winter classic?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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