No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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