ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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