I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize