I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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