When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
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My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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