Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i've created a new STD.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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