I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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