I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
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I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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