Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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