I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize