This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize