His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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