How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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