She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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