I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize