I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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