guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize