ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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