Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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