she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
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She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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