My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize