So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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